- Iscariot: Chapter 1 – In which we meet Pontius Pilate and learn about an obscure Goddess.
- Iscariot: Chapter 2 – In which we meet Jesus of Nazareth, his brother James, Simon the Zealot, and Donny, one of King Herod’s slaves
- Iscariot: Chapter 3 – In which Judas splits a bottle of wine with Mary Magdalene, daughter in law of the almighty.
- Iscariot: Chapter 4 – In which we learn that Jesus is not scared of lightning. Also Kelsey, the formerly barren lady from Chapter 2, has become fertile and now it’s a whole thing.
- Iscariot: Chapter 5 – In which we learn that just because you have love for all things, doesn’t mean you can’t get annoyed by certain peoples antics.
- Iscariot: Chapter 6 – In which Menahem asks, “Are you there, God? It’s me, Menahem.”
- Iscariot: Chapter 7 – In which Pontius Pilate learns who King Herod is and what King Herod do.
- Iscariot: Chapter 8 – In which we meet Martha, wife of Judas, and she’s a delight.
- Iscariot: Chapter 9 – In which we meet the remaining apostles at the Passover feast.
- Iscariot: Chapter 10 – In which Pontius Pilate reminisces about the good ol’ days.
- Iscariot: Chapter 11 – In which there’s a bit of exposition until the angel Lucifer shows up and has a brief chat with Judas.
- Iscariot: Chapter 12 – In which we are made aware of the political situation in Rome.
- Iscariot: Chapter 13 – In which the Passion of the Devil.
- Iscariot: Chapter 14 – In which we meet the rice goddess Inari and a fox named Mrs. Noodles.
- Iscariot: Chapter 15 – In which Mary, Martha, and Kelsey meet a Behemoth and the story passes the Bechdel test.
- Iscariot: Chapter 16 – In which Judas and Jesus travel through India and learn about road building.
- Iscariot: Chapter 17 – In which (much like in Game of Thrones, Season 3, Episode 8) there’s a wedding.
- Iscariot: Chapter 18 – In which crucifixion shmoosifixion. Jesus and Judas are back, baby!
- Iscariot: Chapter 19 – In which we extrapolate upon the Ascension a little bit.
- Iscariot: Chapter 20 – In which Judas and Mary have a pre dinner drink, and we leave them there.
It’s Judas everyone! Just like I promised. Share and enjoy! Though…indulge me for a moment.
My cat is lonely. He used to hang out with my grandmother and an assortment of nurses, but after my grandmother died, and the nurses all left, he’s got nobody for most of the day.
I was wondering if I should get him a kitten? Then he’d have a cool pal to teach things to. How best to bite my ankles. How to howl in contempt if I close any door in the apartment. How that 4 AM is a perfectly acceptable time to wake me up. How to be a jerk, basically.
I got the idea from a TV Show. I used to watch the show Meerkat Manor and one time, this one meerkat from the Whiskers clan found a baby out in a field. Normally meerkats will kill any pups that they find in a burrow of a rival clan, but this was just a baby meerkat left outside. As such, the adult meerkat didn’t know what to do so he brought it to the head meerkat, Flower. She just sort of adopted it and they brought it home, and all of the adults taught Axl the pup how to meerkat. So I thought that maybe John Quincy would adopt a kitten if he just found him in the living room? Then they could be friends.
On a more personal note, I’m not sure that anyone will ever love me. Because I don’t think I deserve to be loved.
Chapter 3 everybody!
In which Judas splits a bottle of wine with Mary Magdalene, daughter in law of the almighty.
The tavern was mostly empty which is how Judas preferred his taverns. Sometimes when he would sit drinking, one of the older patrons would saddle up to him and begin to tell him what was wrong with the manager of the local sports team. Judas would smile as the man would lament that with a better coach, they could easily beat their rivals at the next archery competition.
Sometimes a man would offer to play a game of dice with him. Judas would throw the bones a few times, though wouldn’t get as excited as the men who sat at the table outside. As such, the men would eventually saunter off to another part of the tavern and Judas would return to his drink, forever contemplating the world and occasionally shaking his head at the absurdity of it.
On this day, sunlight filtered through the thin thatch roof as a small fountain bubbled away. The setup made the inside of the tavern considerably cooler than the heat outside and it was near this fountain that Judas sat, rubbing his eyes. A woman dressed in blue robes approached him.
“How do you always manage to be in empty taverns?” Mary asked. “Do you only go into the barren ones, or do people leave when you come in?”
Judas looked up and smiled. “A little of both, I think. I don’t seek crowds and people hate talking to me. What are you drinking, Mary? I’ll buy a bottle.”
“Sweet red wine, then. But don’t worry, this bottle is on me.” She got the attention of the barkeep and placed her order. “Are we staying here, or are we going to go listen to him speak.”
“I think he’ll forgive me if I miss a sermon. He always does.” As he said it they could hear a great commotion coming from the square. “What was that?”
“Probably the race ending. Though I think Jesus was going to heal a few sick people. Perhaps they’re cheering that?” As she spoke, the two looked towards the window and saw a number of people who seemed to be fleeing something in terror.
Judas sighed as the barkeep brought open a bottle of wine and poured them each a glass.
“You don’t look good, Jude,” she said rubbing his shoulder. “And you’ve been acting more stubborn and dour than usual. Which is saying something. You know that I love you, yeah?”
“I think you should save your love for your husband. No sense wasting it on me,” he said, taking a drink.
“It’s not a waste and whatever love I have left after Jesus can go to you if it would make you happy,” she replied.
“Thanks, Mary,” he said. “I appreciate it. I really do, but this whole thing. This school, this…everything with him. It’s messing with my head. I feel overwhelmed and I’m stuck in my own brain. It’s like there are shadows and when we’re walking around and preaching, I can keep them at bay. But, the moment we stop moving all of my anxiety hits me in a wave.”
“Well, you’ve been going through a lot. You’re allowed to feel upset, you know. It’s healthy. A death in the family does that to everyone.”
“It’s weird right? Your parents die and suddenly there’s all sorts of work to do. Things need to be sold or given away, there’s lawyers, there’s appraisers. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do with that townhouse. Sell it I suppose. Move out to the country. Buy a farm and raise chickens?”
Outside, the crowd again burst into something resembling screams. There was a swell followed by running, followed by an eerie sort of silence. Judas looked to the door and was about to stand up before Mary broke his train of thought.
“You’re one of the strongest people I know, Judas. I wish you could see what the rest of us do. We’ll all get through this. Jesus knows what he’s doing. You just need to hold on a little longer. Hold on and we’ll save the entire world. Now drink up and let the wine keep the shadows at bay.”
“I think we’re going to need more than one bottle for that.”
As they ordered another bottle, the door of the tavern opened and they turned up to see their leader, followed by the rest of their little troupe. Mary smiled at him.
“Hey baby!” she said.
Mary ran up and jumped into the arms of her husband / the consolation of Israel. (Luke 2:25)
“Can I just say that you did some great miracles today, Jesus. Top notch stuff. Oh,” Simon said when he noticed Judas. “It’s you. I didn’t see you out in the square today. I know that I’d never miss a chance to hear our counselor speak.” he said with a smug look on his face.
“You are such a kiss ass, Zealot,” Judas responded. “Why don’t you go fetch some food and let the adults speak.”
“Screw you, Iscariot, get your own dinner.”
“Simon. Peace.” Jesus said, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Peter and I will go next door and order some lamb and fruit. Just make sure there’s some wine waiting when we get back. Let’s put an end to this wasted day.”
“Anything for you, sir,” Simon replied. He gave a tight lipped smile to the group and wandered off to find a server.
“Jesus,” Judas said, turning to his friend. “You don’t usually look so upset after a sermon. What troubles do you bear?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m hungry and I want to eat dinner and drink.”
“You ok, hon?” Mary asked.
“I’m fine. I just. I dunno. I don’t know Mary,” he said and started walking to the door. Mary knew enough about her husband to just let him go in these situations and sat back in her chair.
“He’s losing faith, Mary. I can see it all over him,” Judas said.
“He’s not losing his faith and neither will we,” she said sharply. “You most of all cannot afford to lose anything. You and I are the only ones who understand what he’s trying to do. What we’re trying to do for this world. Oop. Hush,” she said as Simon approached. “Simon, my dear. Do join us.”
Simon looked apprehensive but sat down with his fellow apostles and placed his newly purchased wine on the table.
“What happened out there?” Mary asked.
“General weirdness. There were a bunch of Romans shouting something in whatever language they all speak, and some soldiers came and put an axe through the head of Aaron the House Painter. Jesus didn’t get to speak and of course he couldn’t help poor Aaron. Prefect Pilate was yelling this broken Aramaic and he kept shouting about sodomy and brooms. Romans are crazy, I don’t know. Everyone just sort of left after that.”
Upon hearing the story, Judas shook his head, finished his goblet of wine and stood up.
“And with that, I’m going home. That’s enough church for today,” he announced. “Mary, a pleasure as always. Simon, I hate you and always have.”
“Charming as always, Judas,” Simon replied. “Though I should leave too. I’m going to go next door and see if Jesus needs any help bringing back lunch. Ta.”
“I’ll bring some food by later if you want,” Mary said to Judas as he walked towards the door. “You, me, Martha, and a bottle of wine?”
“I’m busy tonight.”
“Alright, tomorrow then?”
“I’ll see you at that beach thing this weekend. K? Until then, I’m out.”
Mary frowned as Judas walked out of the tavern. She didn’t frown long, however, as she finally noticed the wine that Simon had brought before leaving.
“Well then,” she said, picking up one of the pitchers and pouring a glass for herself. “Waste not, want not.”