Super Bowl Party Review

It’s been a banner year for ol’ Philippe in the sports world.

My Fantasy Football team, the NY-NJ Hitmen, became the Fantasy Football champions at my work1. This netted me a few hundred dollars which is always nice. My colleague and runner up, Mike B. and I, opted to take some of those winnings and commission a championship belt.

Behold, the majesty! And a steal at only $260!

My hope is that the belt will pass around the office for the next dozen years, with each year’s winner adding their name to the coveted prize.

Additionally, my beloved New England Patriots fought their way to the Super Bowl. As such, I took my lucky Patriots jersey2 out of the closet and invited people over to watch the game.
I started the day by slow cooking a tomato-less3 chili recipe for six hours, and it was mind bendingly good4.

In a bid to make the apartment more amenable to hosting and such, I also mounted my TV on the wall and set up most of a very good stereo system5.

Mostly set up is slightly close to rocking.

The Game

I started the game at two beers in because Super Bowl Sunday is a fun day for drinkin’. You don’t have to drink, but I enjoy having a big, delicious, beer on occasion. So I had several. Normally I’m not a big beer drinker and prefer vodka, but what the hell.

I drank too much over the course of the game, but WHAT a game! My team lost, though dear lord that was some quality football. Even my girlfriend agreed. At one point she loudly proclaimed “Now that’s football!” After the Patriots caused a turnover.6

Football!

It was tight most of the time. But in the end, the Eagles were the better team. We got too cutesy with some of our plays. And ol’ Butterfingers Brady apparently can throw real good, but he can’t catch worth a damn. Congrats Philly. I hope you all have a great night tonight and don’t damage your city too bad.7 I’d rate it higher if we won. I don’t know. Seven stars. The thing is, the Patriots have won so many Championships, that I can now just enjoy the journey. We had a good season, and we’ll probably be in the playoffs next year and win it then.

Philadelphia’s offense played as near to flawlessly as you could ever hope a team to play. New England also played pretty flawlessly on offense, but our defense was worse. It’s something we shall have to work on in the off season if we expect to win a ring next year. Assuming Belichick comes back. And Brady for that matter.

Halftime

Apparently we’re boycotting Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl in this household.8

Timberlake is seen here wearing his best Osh Kosh B’Goshes

So it’s listening to The Who and eating more chili. Everything was fine until Timberlake did a duet with a dead man9 who specifically talked about how much he hated when people did this exact thing. (The halftime show was on mute, but we saw Prince and un-muted to see what the hell Timberlake thought he was doing. Turns out, he was being a dick.) 2 stars.

Commercials

Tide!10

Deadly-licious

Solo! Black Panther! Peter Dinklage doing some fast rapping11! And damned if I know what the hell Eli was selling, but it was nice to see him dirty dancing with ODB.

Remember in the movie, when Patrick Swayze was banging a 16 year old and we were all sort of fine with it?

Dilly Dilly! That aside, I didn’t watch most of the commercials this year, and would skip back to my office to vape whenever they were on. Particularly after half time when I was full of chili and like 5 beers and 2 ciders. 5 stars.

People
Everyone that came over was great! 8 stars!

Final
Call it like…a 7? I would have preferred my own team to win, but there’s always next year…which begins in seven, long, footballess months. See you in the Fall everyone!

Notes   [ + ]

1. I had a very good draft this year. Fantasy Football is largely a luck based affair, but I stuck with my plan of not caring about names and drafting positions in a specific order. I did make one small change to pick up Brady in the fifth round, as I was ninth in a ten person snake draft and I felt that Quarterbacks were all going to be going soon. But the end result was that I had LeSean McCoy, Melvin Gordon, DeAndre Hopkins, Larry Fitzgerald, along with some other good picks. I also landed the Jacksonville Jaguars in the very last round, who came through for me in huge ways this year. Of course in my other league I managed to end up in ninth place or so, out of ten, by wavering in my draft strategy and thus an important lesson was learned. I don’t know squat about football players, so from here on out my draft strategy will be as follows in a non PPR league, (RB, RB, WR, RB, WR, QB (Variable), WR, RB, TE, WR, Best Available Flex X 4, K, D.)
2. Seriously! I bought this jersey when Brady first replaced Bledsoe on the roster. Not because I believed in Brady yet. Just because I hated Bledsoe with the fire of a thousand suns and wanted the Patriots front office to see. But we’ve won five superbowls since I bought it. And I lost faith this time around. I’m sorry Patriots nation. I took the jersey off halfway through the fourth. The thing is that the last time I took off the jersey in the fourth, we had the greatest comeback in the history of sports, so it made sense to try it again.
3. Tomatoes are the god damned worst. All they do is sit there, looking all smug. And then if you accidentally eat something with tomato in it, you end up spending the entire next day feeling as if a knife has been thrust into your stomach, right through to your back.
4.

Phil’s Tomato-less Chili

2.5 pounds of ground beef
4 cloves of garlic
5 Tablespoons of chili powder
2 teaspoons of ground cumin
2 teaspoons of dried oregano
1 can of kidney beans – drained
1 can of cannellini beans – drained
1 bottle of hot oriental style chili sauce
1 bottle of sweet oriental style chili sauce
15 oz of beef broth
1 chopped yellow onion
3 chopped fresh jalapeno peppers
Brown and drain the meat. Chop and quickly sautee the veggies. Mince the garlic. Dump it all into a slow cooker. Cook for 6 hours on low.

5. Most of, in that I now own…or rather Amanda owns…a very nice record player, which she got for Christmas, and I own a very nice receiver, some good speakers, a phono pre amp, and a pretty good record collection of classic albums mixed with some new classic status stuff from the nineties. What I neglected to buy was speaker cable, so we’ll have to wait on listening to records.
6. My other friend Josh then razzed her about the comment, at which point we started razzing him about bringing beer over, but not wanting to share certain cans of the beer because he had brought those specific beers for other people who may or may not have been coming later. As it happens, those people DID come later, so I guess it worked out in the end. I drank my own beer and was happy with it.
7. Update! The Philly fans, looted, burned cars, flipped over other cars, one of them ate actual horse shit. On camera! As a lark! Dozens and dozens were injured, and I think one guy will need several months of physical therapy to walk again. Because he chose to fall backwards off of a restaurant roof onto the concrete.
8. This is due to Justin Timberlake having a big career after the boob incident and Janet Jackson seeing a decline in her career. Admittedly, Janet Jackson had already been a bit out of vogue, and I wasn’t a big fan of her later singles. I felt they didn’t push the boundaries which her earlier work had tried to do, and unfortunately the R&B scene moved into a slightly more bubblegum direction. Nothing against Pink or anyone, of course, but she’s not exactly covering new grounds with songs like “So What”. And I think that Pink is probably the best out of that whole class of singers. In any case, Janet’s style didn’t really fit into the new scene and there we are. All of that said, the halftime show usually sucks anyway, so we asked Alexa to play Pinball Wizard and it sort of went from there.
9. Prince
10. Tide had to do a bit of PR as apparently all the teens have been eating their delicious soap pods. 5 or 6 million bucks of cool ads in the Super Bowl should clear that right up.
11. Not a lot of people know this, but Amanda loves fast rapping. I’m pretty sure the only reason she fell in love with me was because I fast rapped for her when she was sick one time. To make her feel better. It worked! And now we live together. So kids, learn how to fast rap.
Philippe L.

About Philippe L.

When not out exploring the stars with his good friend Hotblack Desiato, he makes his living here on Earth keeping other people's money safe from the hands of thieves and spinning the occasional yarn. He enjoys beer and coffee very much, but unfortunately he can't eat shellfish or tomatoes.

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